Refusing to Die

Refusing To Die

- by Lucy Hinton (1993?)

Long Ago, when words were made of magic

I was moved through the future, and shown the present

As if it had never existed.

My line of life was stretched and taught

But it was not there.

Light and Dark were one force of feeling within me

where feeling could not.

Atoms of matter and Measurements of time did not exist

Where Time and Space were forgotten before they even began and ended.

The trees were beautiful there,

But no sense belonging to an untrained could find them

Although they searched.

I was inadequate

Dot.

Small and yet I was and am the greatest force there,

Filling completely the unconfined space that is unknown forever,

and not, in actual fact, a space,

like an expanding gas and but

so sweet I took everything in like a welcome gift

that had not been offered to me.

My shoes were soft and hard, like I’ve known before.

My skin made me cry with its tenderness

My brain tried to save my consciousness

My heart filled my love

I wanted

I wanted my body back

I die

I refused to die

I am alive and always will be

I do not need human life, but there is no other earth

I was made of earth

And I still am

Even when I am nothing.